It’s been 21 days since our last show, but we’re back! We’ve been washing our hair and stuff (read: pleasuring ourselves while reading dirty books).

Brittany’s on Huffington Post, Meredith is bothered by Kim Kardashian possibly becoming Mayor, and Matt does a live reading from Fifty Shades Darker (book 2 in the Fifty Shades trilogy).  At one point in time, they all laugh so hard they cry. It’s basically like watching a spectacular train wreck.

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Guest

Kristie Webber of The Spiteful Chef

Music

Brittany Spears Cover Night!

Hit Me Baby One More Time by Simple Plan

Toxic by Static Lullaby

Womanizer by All American Rejects

Oops! I Did It Again by Max Raabe

In this episode, they stay sober and find they are still funny.  Okay, we’re lying.  The girls were drinking (as usual).  Meredith has no will to love after a spider bite, and Brittany confesses that she  compares everything in life that costs money to the cost of Taco Bell menu items.  Brittany offers Meredith an unopened sex toy that she swears hasn’t been used. The girls decide to name it “Kyle”. Why Kyle? Because all Kyles they know are penis-like.

Special guest Stacy Verdick Case was hilarious.  She gave away one of her awesome books to a lucky Brittany & Meredith LIVE Facebook or Twitter fan. Congratulations to the winner, Rhonda L. (from Facebook)!

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Guest

Author, Stacy Verdick Case

Music

Danny Vola covers Big Poppa

Justin Dow covers Give Me One Reason

Glee covers We Are Young

Josie Charlwood covers Feel Good Inc.

Have we got a surprise for you!

Tonight on Brittany & Meredith Live, we are chatting with KY (yes, THAT KY) super doctor, Dr. Kerner, about our hectic lifestyles, and the need for a date night and sex. Lots and lots of sex.

On top of, what is sure to be, the most hilarious interview ever, we are joining forces with KY to give away five (5!) custom KY Date Night Packs that include the KY Date Night Pack featuring an array of yummy KY products, a $25 voucher for Restaurants.com, as well as loads of other themed goodies!

Food and lube? Best Valentine’s Day ever!

Now what? You win, of course!

You can enter two ways.

1. Tell us your plans for Valentine’s Day

2. Listen to tonight’s show, and leave us a comment with your date night tips

You can enter as many times as you wish. The contest runs until Tuesday, February 7th at 11:59pm EST. Five (5) winners will be selected at random, and prize mailed upon email confirmation.

***

Did you miss the show last night? No worries! You can catch Dr. Kerner’s interview today!

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Oh where to start.

Tonight nothing is off limits, from naked creeps on Craigs List, people giving birth in public, to Brittany explaining to Matt and Meredith how sometimes…people are born with tails.

Then the gloves come off and we go head to head with comedian Mike Sains, tackling everything from dead ladies in storage units to why all people on game shows should be piss drunk. It’s the funniest 15 minutes in radio.  Ever.

Listen:

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Guest:

Mike Sains, Tower of Sour

Music from this episode:

It Will Rain, Megan Nicole
Fat Bottom Girls, The Band Perry
Pretty Girl Rock, Parachute

The Joygasm letdown. Meredith killed her dog, without death-gasm, we love when kids get giant tattoos, we found the DOUBLE VAGINA WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAANNNNN, break down the Seal (Who Meredith confuses with R. Kelly) and Heidi Klum divorce, and then we chat with psychic lawyer Mark Anthony.

Ummm…Brittany calls BS on all of this, but Meredith is drunk and talking to dead people.

Listen

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Guest

Mark Anthony, Psychic Lawyer

Music from this episode:

Drink To That, KoverBoyz
Ironic, The Downtown Fiction

THIS IS ONE OF THE SHOWS BEST YET!

We’re not kidding. It’s pretty, pretty, pretty hilarious.

It was very hard for us the girls to keep it together as they spoke to pet psychic, Terri Jay.  She told the girls all about death joygasms and what your pets are really thinking when you have sex in the same room as them.  Brittany’s mom tagged along to the studio. Meredith talked about fingering in front of her. So there’s that.

You’ll just have to watch it for yourself.

Listen

Download it on iTunes.

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Guest

Terri Jay, Pet Psychic

Songs

I Like You Better on Facebook (LiveAndLetLivia)

Mrs. Robinson (Pomplamoose Music)

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall (Boyce Avenue)

This week on Brittany & Meredith LIVE!, Matt decides to say something on-air that no husband should ever say on-air, Meredith practices her radio voice, and Brittany explains that if we breathe around Beyonce’s baby – we take away her youth. Listen, Beyonce, all things suck once you have a baby come out of your vagina. Wait. Your baby probably came out of your bellybutton hole so not to mess up that golden vagina for a snake to come out of it at the next MTV award show.

Anyway, we also discuss how boys can’t pick the right place to eat (take that as you will), and why dating your grandson is disgusting.

We have a couple of great guests. Lisa Wojo, a mother of 3 girls, gives the girls advice about raising daughters. And we have Rebecca Regnier, author of the Twitter Diet on air

Click here to download it on iTunes.
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Guests

Lisa Wojo, @LisaBWojo

Rebecca Regnier, Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat

Songs

Use Somebody (Pixie Lott)

Fast Car (Boyce Avenue & Kinna Granis)

Hallelujah (Kate Voegele)

I Like You Better On Facebook (LiveAndLetLivia)

This week on Brittany and Meredith live, we place bets on Meredith ability to keep her New Year’s Resolution of no cussing, decide what to do with a vial of Brad Pitt’s sperm, promise to divorce our husbands when they are 90 and saggy, and then discuss whether or not babies and boobies in public are allowed.

We chatted with Job Guru Stacey Bigelow about jobs, degrees, moms returning to work, and why Brittany is basically unemployable.

Lastly, like always, we answer your emails, from a newly single girl getting it on to a Bridezilla who wants to ban her single friends from bringing dates.  We’re the experts, obviously.

Click here to listen to this week’s HILARIOUS episode!

Guests:

Stacey Bigelow, Advanced Staffing

Music form this episode:

Times A Wastin, 3 Voices & Beatur

Something, Cheyenne Roberts

Disturbia, Kinna Granis

The Vagina Song, Noextrai

It’s just after Christmas, and we’re all recovering from too much eggnog and in-laws.  Also, Brittany’s been drinking since noon.

Today’s topics include buying furniture buzzed, eating human flesh, and homeschooling. We also spoke with a doctor who used words like “knockers” and asked Meredith to stop writing her ailments on his Facebook wall.  We’re pretty sure he is going to drop her as a patient after this show. Finally, Meredith schools us on her 2012 predictions and  “Jesus Horns.”  Yeah, we’re just as speechless as you are.

Isn’t there a rule about talking about Jesus while you’re drinking?

Watch it above.

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Listen to it.

Guests:

Dr. Stephen Camacho

Music from this episode:

Let’s Hear it for the Boy, Kate Nash

Hollaback Girl, Foals

Whip My Hair, Harry & Alfie

Your Song, Ellie Goulding

Grenade, Julia & Tyler